*climbs up on top of soap box and clears throat*

Hey! Yeah I'm talking to you! Tis be Lammy here, also known as bemylullaby! Officially, as of Monday, May 04, 2009 at11:41 PM Pacific Standard time. Mondays and Fridays will be taken over by me! Mwhahahahaha…I present to you…Mismatched Mondays: Lammy’s Pimped out Fics!!Every Monday the ladies of Fornication Station will bring to you their non-cannon fic pimpage. That’s right, you heard correctly. Bella, Edward, what? Jasper, Alice who? Emmett, Rosalie, when? The possibilities are endless…So, sit back and enjoy the ride of your life. Because honey, when we're on top we ride it and we ride it hard.

So on behalf of the ladies of Fornication Station and in conjunction with the Foundation for Starving For a Review Foundation, A Foundation WITHIN A Foundation, I proudly present to you…This weeks Mismatched Monday Fic Pimpage! Come play with us on Friday when we toy with Faithful Fridays…Thank you for your continued support and dedication.That is all.

*steps down off of soap box*

Pimp: Miztrezboo aka Lady Kassmett

Trick: The Tie That Binds

Escort: Fiberkitty

Status: Complete

Realm: AU

Chapters Completed: 25 chapters, 7 Alice POVs, 2 outtakes as of May 1, 2009

Opposites Attract: Bella/Emmett, Bella/Jasper, Bella/Edward, Jasper/Edward, Edward/Bella/Jasper.. MANY sandwiches.

Why does this story deserve to be pimped:

“Apart from the fact that this fic is by my BELOVED BooBooKittyFuck who all of her fic’s I completely and UTTERLY ADORE *cough* LAF *cough*. This is the story that got me off the canon bandwagon and literally out of reading Wolf Pack fics. Fiberkitty has this amazing way of drawing you in, from the descriptions of scenery, feelings, emotions, right down to the very last detail.

It starts out after the Volturi have arrived in Breaking Dawn, accept instead of it ending blandly with no action, there was a HUGE fight resulting in the demise of two of our usual characters. How will the family deal with this loss? Will secret notes and future thoughts reveal a very interesting way to bring certain family members together? The term Sharing is Caring comes to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL!

And HOT? Chapter two, First lemon. Brief, sweet but yet satisfying. Out of nowhere Chapter 9 brings a woodland scene you’ll never forget, Chapter 14 has the most interesting form of marking you’ll probably ever read, Chapter 16 Ducati.. you’ll never look at it the same, 21 J x E K.IS.S.I.N.G, and then the outtake with Jasper & Alice high in a tree, 28. *squee*

But apart from the heat, and there is A LOT of that; there’s Alice’s notes left scattered at important times. These are the ones that get under your skin and make the story even more memorable and lasting in your mind. Tissue alert and don’t read at work for Chapter 21. I’ve read TTTB four times now and it STILL gets me each and every time.

Emotional connections, sexuality and marriage bonds are put to the test, pulled and tugged in a variety of directions, all serving to further tighten The Tie That Binds.”

Pimp: Goldentemptress aka Momma E

Trick: At the Deep End

Escort: Naelany

Status: Work in Progress

Realm: AH

Chapters Completed: 12 chapters as of May 4, 2009

Opposites Attract: Jasper/Edward (slash fic)

Why does this story deserve to be pimped:

This is not your typical slash fic, where the characters are thrown immediately into some torrent affair. There is a slow buildup between Jasper and Edward in this fic, and their history only seems to fuel the fire. The flashbacks in the first few chapters set you up to follow the story of these two and the struggle to find your own identity as well as be true to the person you love. Emmett and Rose also provide entertaining side characters, and the sibling interaction between Rose and Jasper is refreshing. Overall, I would recommend this story because it does not hold its primary focus in the characters physical interactions, they are just an added perk. Definitely check this one out if you are looking for a slash fic with some emotional interaction as well.

Pimp: Bemylullaby aka Lammy

Trick: When Darkness Turns to Light

Escort: Janna Banana

Status: Complete

Realm: AU

Chapters Completed: 51 chapters

Opposites Attract: Jasper/Bella

Why does this story deserve to be pimped:

Well, for one thing this story definitely opened my eyes to the possibilities of Jasper and Bella. Jasper and Bella have quickly become my favorite non-cannon pairing, although I will say I’m growing on the idea of Jacob and Alice, but we’ll save that for another week.

“When Darkness Turns to Light” is one of the stories that take place as if Edward never came back in New Moon, after that tragic chapter three, which we won’t talk about. Bella “moved” on with her life, Jacob’s her best friend and now she decides it’s time to get the hell out of dodge (or Forks for that matter) and she starts to attend Dartmouth. It’s her first day in the big, bad college world and that’s when everything changes…

“In the dark, I could make out a pair of piercing gold eyes, eyes that I knew no human would have.”

The first chapter leaves you with the thoughts circulating on who is the face behind the golden eyes.

“When Darkness Turns to Light” leads you through a whirlwind of emotions and hardship, brings you special guest appearances from a few pack members and leads you on an adventure across the seas to little Italian towns where the humans have no idea what’s lurking in the shadows.

This was one of those stories I came across and read in one sitting. I just couldn’t stop, every chapter left me wanting more and more and more.

If you’re not sold on it yet, let me offer you this little bit…

What’s better than our dear heroine getting it on with the hot, talented, southern Jasper Whitlock? Our dear Bella getting it on with the hot, talented, southern, vampire Jasper Whitlock with his mighty empath powers.

Pimp: Nostalgicmiss aka Le Big eLLe

Trick: A Photograph

Escort: Miztrezboo

Status: Complete

Realm: AU

Chapters Completed: 34 Chapters

Opposites Attract: Embry/Quil/Katie

Why does this story deserve to be pimped:

Oh Holy hell, the twin will kill me for submitting this but I have to say, I had to do it. It’s one of those stories that stays with you even after you’ve finished reading it. It invoked so many emotions that even after you finish reading and try and catch your breath between chapters, your mind constantly thinks about the words the have just infiltrated the mind.

The story follows Katie, a woman fresh from graduation who moves to the outskirts of Port Angeles with her best friend and roommate, Quileute Jess. The back story is just as wonderful as the one you embark on. Katie is a fun Character to delve into the mind of and really you just can’t get enough of her original thoughts.

After throwing a party and meeting some of Jess’ old Quileute friends, Katie finds herself thrown into a world she couldn’t possible know exists. A world where wolves and vampires exist, where anything is possible. She takes it all in her stride, she’s strong and confident.

In fact, all of the characters are well written; the main character is sarcastic and witty. The wolves are . . . well, amazing. I find myself falling in love with each of these characters as she describes them. Nessie and Jacob, Alice and Jasper, Edward Carlisle, Bella . . . everyone’s there and all are brilliantly written.

The story follows Katie through the years of her life with her wolf. I laughed, I cried, I cursed, and I giggled. Miztrezboo has put so much thought and dedication into these characters you can’t help but fall in love with them. You also can’t look away.

I read this epic tale in one sitting because I couldn’t take my eyes from the words. It was amazing, and as the plot thickens . . . you’ll just have to read it.